Gather and Give before you Gift

Happy is the shopper who knows how to Gather and Give before you Gift. Learn about the Bucket of 3 G’s: Gathering, Giving, and Gifts. The three G’s could l help you to lose the guilt this year. Let’s start by addressing the Scrooge in the house. “He’s a mean one, Mr. Scrooge.” At some point, we all suffer a little bit of Scrooginess. But even he developed a heart at the end of the show, and hopefully others can too. So there is hope.

He’s a mean one, Mr. Scrooge

Giving without guilt is a real challenge for many. The who, when, why, and how is coming at you from every angle. People around you are becoming angry, and sometimes downright cruel. Others are overly sweet and cozy with you. Then you have those who are becoming indentured servants to their credit cards and want a loan from you.

I had the opportunity to attend a lecture on holiday spending issues and mindful gift-giving. The topic centered on the bucket of 3G’s: Gathering, Giving, and Gifts. I’m going to give my spin on the 3G’s training below.

Gathering–> Giving–> Gifts

Gatherings: This is where food for family dinners ae prepared, where everyone has a seat at the table. It’s a platter, eggs, bread, fish, turkey, or pie, or whatever food you like to eat. Or maybe your idea of a gathering is to go play BINGO and eat pizza and fries!

Giving: At your gatherings is the time to decide what or who the family would like to donate to. Here are my giving thoughts, you may have your own:

Foster Care
Community Churches
Pets, Humane Society
Homeless & Hungry
Youth & Education
Samaritan Purse: By far, one of the better charities is Samaritan’s Purse. Operation Christmas Child is just one of the many outreaches of this organization. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/ It’s nice to know your money is actually used for charity! Love that! In giving to others, you are gifting to your own “soul”.

In giving to others, you are gifting to your own “soul”.

Gifts: For young families, there may not be a lot of money to go around to buy for everyone. Finding things that give cheer to others doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are some things from my youth that might be helpful. Teenagers need supportive ideas too, because they are still learning. They are learning to think outside their own peer & digital-controlled headspace.

Try giving a family photo (YES, it can be digital)
Gift “good” candy boxes and a card (with a photo)
Give to the kids under 18. (10 or 20 bucks stocking stuffer)
Single kids over 18 not living at home or in college are considered fully emancipated adults (See candy & photo above). Congratulations, you are now an adult! What a gift in itself that is!
Handmade is okay, actually, I am in awe of those who have that creative flair.

I get it, sometimes you don’t know how to pull it all together. Know that it’s okay to let others give to you instead. It will make them feel better. But you may still be guilted! Get that camera now, start taking those holiday photos. Plan that call! There should be a reason to feel guilty when you give from the heart.

Get that camera now, start taking those holiday photos.

How to give to your adult kids

You need to be mindful of the fact that grown kids generally have their own funds, sometimes more than their parents, sometimes less.

1. If you need some help buying Christmas for the little ones, your parents & grandparents are usually open to help pick up some items that you know your youth would enjoy. No guilt. Grandparents would probably appreciate you asking them more than you know. It’s still important not to take advantage of them, of course.

2. Money in a Christmas envelope is always good, if you can afford all the shipping and handling, not to mention the wrapping. The amount is not important; it’s the act that is remembered most. Who remembers the money? You remember the people in your life.

a. When you have 5 or less people to buy for, $50 (+/-) might be doable. I don’t know.

b. After gathering and giving, when you have 6 or more people to buy for, $10, $15, or $25 is good. It’s not always doable. Sometimes after gathering and giving, you learn that – that was the gift. There may be nothing left after that. Maybe not even after the gathering. But the good news is “it’s the people you will remember the most”.

3. Gift certificates to their favorite store.

a. Same things as item 2 above.

4. Most valuable gifts you can give when you live at a distance

A phone call from those who live far away

Thanksgiving call
Christmas call
Birthdays call – anytime

B. Gathering

Holiday meal time
Bingo or an ocean cruise
Anytime

C. Giving to a family charity

Memorable
Self-Satisfying.
Giving is the gift you give back to yourself.

Extended Family

I can’t speak to all extended families. You might have in-laws and out-laws, grandparents, brothers and sisters, but I know item #4 above is important to the heart, mind, and spirit. It is a real depression buster – big time.

Seeing all those photos and videos of family is key to mental health. Post them! Tag people! Enjoy each other! It makes people feel included even when they are at a distance. Especially if they live alone. I understand not everyone has a digital account or feels comfortable with that. So for those individuals, it’s still good news – because most have email, and a mailing address.

In my family, we invited others to our holiday gatherings and shared a meal. It was a warm and delightful experience. Be mindful, though, gatherings can be pricey, up to $200 to $300 and up for the meal. On a budget? Pizza is also good. Fish and steak are yummy too!

Secret Santa at the family gatherings was hysterical, especially when you could steal someone else’s present or choose again.

Here is some homework for you to do. Go to the store and price a meal. I suggest you buy and save pantry and frozen items leading up to the meal. Freeze a Turkey and pies, stock up on canned goods, you get the idea. Clear Tape! Buy Tape – buy extra.

5. Does it fit?

a. Please make sure people have sizes for your kids and yourself.

b. Make a list. Maybe someone will purchase from your list – for you.

Amazon has a wish list
Penny’s has lots of Christmas sales
Grocery stores. Probably the highest-priced racket on the planet, but the gift card is good.

Good luck in creating your own Christmas plan. Mine is just beginning. From my own family, Ideas would be greatly appreciated, along with their sizes, likes, and NEVER BUY THAT AGAIN MOM ideas.

The Bucket of 3 G’s – no guilt this Christmas. Gather and Give before you Gift.